FEAR vs LOVE

By Sumaiyya Syed

Ever noticed that throughout the day you either act out of fear or act out of love? For instance, let's assume you want to complete your office work on time or have a bite of your favourite snack at break time! Aren't these activities either out of fear or love? 

Well, you act out of fear when your focus is on getting something, whether it be other people's approval or attention, money or power. On the other hand, when you act out of love, your focus is on giving, be it your time, attention, love, or money etc., Your intention is solely to share and improve the lives of the people you love, not for your own interest, just as an act, out of love.

To master your emotions, you must be able to identify your behaviours, whether you are acting out of fear or love. For instance, look at one of the major goals in your life, whether it is a fear-based goal or a love-based one? Is your intention to serve the world or take from it?

Let us take an example of a person who wants to become an influencer or an actor. Some of the key reasons for that could be:

1. Making money 
2. Being famous
3. Proving to your parents and friends that you are very good enough
4. Entertaining people
5. Being an icon for a good cause

The first three causes are usually fear-based goals, where you want to fill a void within yourself and demonstrate how good you are. While the final two examples may be love-based goals where you are willing it for the sake of people.

Note that throughout your day you often alternate between love-based and fear-based behaviours. For instance, you may be taking up a task that helps people and makes you feel complete. At this moment, you feel like having nothing. But right after five minutes, you start thinking of a promotion where you can make your father feel proud. At this moment, you're no longer feeling complete. Instead, you are now again back to trying to get something.

We all are in a race to fulfil our fear-based goals to meet our love-based goals or vice-versa. Start noticing the underlying motivations behind your actions. As you do so, you begin to realize that you spend a considerable amount of time trying to earn other people's approval or attention, whether they may be your colleague, your friend, your partner or your boss. 

Notice this and ask yourself what you can do to move from 'Wanting to get' to 'Wanting to give'. You'll find a blast of happiness when you self aware of the emotions you experience in your day-to-day life.